If you take a drive along the I-70 corridor in Colorado just an hour away from the Rocky Mountains and 25 miles from Denver, you will find the small rural town of Bennett.  The town is taking part in a healthy initiative funded by a $10.5 million grant from the national government to the Tri-County Health Department.  The grant is to be used to increase opportunities for its residents to build a healthier life style.

                Part of the funds awarded will go to make sustainable environmental changes in the community and school system.  Some of the programs in the schools will include training programs on how to make healthy food choices, increasing physical activities by the addition of new playgrounds and improving existing ones.  Also new bike trails will be built and adapted to meet the needs of the disabled students.

                This year as part of the healthy eating program, the students sent the Halloween candy they had collected to the U.S. Navy sailors.  Another change the Bennett School System put in effect to foster better food choices was that all sugary drinks were removed from concession stands and replaced by bottled water.  The vending machines were also stocked with healthy snacks such as trail mix, nuts and sports drinks.

                As for improving the community it was decided that a few new gardens in the town should be installed and that a new bike, pedestrian and trail infrastructure would be created.  Some of the town’s restaurants have started to highlight healthy meals on their menus.  There has also been a series of videos produced that encourage healthy eating and good physical activity.  The videos are in English and Spanish so all of the town’s citizens can stay informed regarding ways to stay healthy.

                Though it is sometimes very difficult to change bad habits (there was some grumbling in the beginning with the new programs) the citizenry has now come on board to embrace the new changes, often volunteering their time and materials for town projects.

                Last June the Center for Disease Control visited Bennett and they were extremely impressed by the town’s new improvements and the plans for further changes in the future.  Bennett is just one of many cities in our country that are encouraging their citizens to make healthier life choices.

Diane Burns is a freelance writer currently residing in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania.

President and founder of Bucks County Plastic Surgery Center in Newtown, PA, Dr. Robert J. Skalicky is Board Certified in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery and has over 25 years of surgical experience. Trained at Frankford Hospital, Mercy Catholic Medical Center, Westchester County Medical Center and Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine, Dr. Skalicky shares his vast knowledge of this field as Associate Director and Trainer of plastic surgery residents and fellows in and around the Philadelphia area.

Focused on both cosmetic and reconstructive surgery, Dr. Skalicky is well-known for his ability to create a personal yet professional relationship with his patients while providing them with the highest standard of surgical skills. He believes that obtaining physical confidence is possible in everyone if they choose the correct, well-trained and caring physician. He is an expert in areas including cosmetic and reconstructive breast surgery, body contouring, facial rejuvenation and post weight loss aesthetic surgery. A long list of awards and accomplishments include election to NOVO (National Leaders in Breast Aesthetics) and numerous publications and media appearances for plastic surgery “expert forums”. Dr. Skalicky has been guest speaker for Americas Health Network and the Pennsylvania Breast Cancer Coalition and in 1990 was the first surgeon to perform a complete breast reconstruction to be aired live via Internet broadcast.

Dr. Skalicky shares:

My practice philosophy involves utilizing the finest surgical techniques in a “complete” patient care approach.  This approach includes identifying each patient’s needs and desires and then developing an individual surgical plan to accomplish their goals. Honesty is a critical component in this process to allow each patient to gain realistic expectations regarding their specific surgical results.  My overall goal for each patient is to develop a strong physician-patient relationship where each patient feels like “family” in my practice and can depend on me as their surgeon to take care of them throughout every step of the surgical process.

Patients want to look better, younger, and more refreshed but don’t always know what procedure will get them there. My job is to both educate and guide them so they don’t make a mistake in their procedure selection. I try to transform each patient’s appearance in a “natural” way so as to avoid the far too frequent overdone looks that can happen when patients are not properly guided.

My practice encompasses all plastic and cosmetic procedures including eyelid surgery, facelifts, body contouring, breast enhancement and reduction, nasal surgery, and “tummy tucks”. In addition, my practice also performs an array of non-invasive procedures such as botox, wrinkle fillers, and laser wrinkle reduction. The newest area in my practice is fat transfer procedures. A patient’s own fatty tissue is now being used to replace volume and enhance areas of the face, buttocks, and even breast.

Excellent results can be achieved at Bucks County Plastic Surgery Center, 104 Pheasant Run, Building A, Suite 123, Newtown, PA 18940. To schedule an appointment, call (215) 702-8600.

If you ask around you’ll find that most people have a favorite season. Spring and fall may be a favorite pair together, but “summer people” and “winter people” tend to be passionately loyal to one extreme or the other.  Whether winter sends you deep into your cave or the crisp, crackling air stirs your senses, check this list for something to do that will deepen your appreciation for even the chilliest day.

A Bed… A Breakfast… and Then Some

Ever think of going to a nearby bed and breakfast just for something different?  Maybe you are travelling to the region or planning overnight accommodations for special guests. Whichever story is yours, each of these unique, historic locations provide plenty to write home about.

Hamanassett Bed & Breakfast & Carriage House

Chester County, Brandywine Valley, Pennsylvania

Nestled in Brandywine Valley, just fifteen minutes from Longwood Gardens and a myriad of other regional attractions, this well-appointed estate has been renowned far and wide for its English garden charm and elegance for over 150 years. Breakfast is not just a meal, it’s an indulgence.

The icing on the cake is the option to attend a cooking class taught by noted Chef Ann-Michelle Albertson. On behalf of the Brandywine Cooking School, the classes are held in the professional kitchen at the inn. Celebrity chefs teach a variety of cuisines. Whatever level your culinary skills are at, they’ll be sharpened by this delicious package geared for anyone who likes to have fun in the kitchen. Here are several options coming up soon:

January 20-21:  Make It a Celebration

Celebrate with culinary enthusiasm for parties for any occasion, including a menu suitable for the “unofficial” national holiday: Super Bowl Sunday! 

February 24-25: Dining at the White House
Invitation lost in the mail?  If you can’t get into the White House, bring it to you!  Create and enjoy favorite foods of our country’s presidents and indulge in the gourmet traditions and elegance of a White House State Dinner menu. 

For more information, visit www.hamanassett.com, or call (610) 459-3000. For reservations: (877) 836-8212. Email: stay@hamanassett.com.

SHERILYN — Here is the link for photos http://jumpingrocks.com/hamanassett pword:  ashley

The Queen Victoria
Cape May, New Jersey
Psychic channeling and ghost investigations may happen during those other months, but winter is “on season” at this elegant haven for true wine lovers. On February 24th The Queen Victoria is hosting a “Wine Blending Challenge”. Participating guests will arrive at the Cape May Winery to compete at crafting the perfect blend of red wine. Trays of fine cheeses will complement wine tasting and the winning blend will be bottled with the “Queen Victoria Cellars” label. Everyone goes home with the blend in bottles featuring personalized labels and mix details. The event is only open to guests of the lodging and will only occur once this year, so make your bookings soon.

For more information on ticket prices and reservations, visit www.queenvictoria.com/inn.html, or call (609) 884-8702. Email: stay@queenvictoria.com.
There’s Always Room at These Inns

The Lambertville Station

Lambertville, New Jersey
Located on the banks of the Delaware River in historic Lambertville, NJ, just steps from New Hope in beautiful Bucks County PA, the hotel is a relaxing retreat. Enjoy first-class accommodations at a destination known for special events in antiquing, art galleries, and shopping all year long.

Lambertville’s best restaurant, The Lambertville Station, has been a landmark for over 25 years. Located in a restored 19th century train station, our American cuisine restaurant is open daily for lunch and dinner, and Sunday Brunch. Casual dining is available indoors and seasonally on the canal side deck. The wine bar is an exceptionally cozy. For more information, visit www.lambertvillestation.com or call (609) 397-4400.

The Glasbern
Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania
The Glasbern is a quintessential historic Pennsylvania country inn and restaurant tucked away on a peaceful and secluded 130-acre, 19th-Century farm just west of Allentown in Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley. If your passion is reading by an open fire or working late into the night, this luxury Pennsylvania inn welcomes you.

In addition to a fine reputation throughout the region, The Glasbern also raises, grows, and prepares most of their food on site. Glasbern’s restaurant is more than farm-to-table — you’re dining at the farm’s table. Each morning the chef prepares a hot complimentary full country breakfast under the historic Main Barn’s cathedral ceiling.

Visit www.glasbern.com, or call for reservations (610) 285-4723.

Hyatt Regency Philadelphia at Penn’s Landing

201 S. Columbus Boulevard — Philadelphia, PA 19106
(215) 928-1234
Its location is unique: it is the only hotel located directly on the Delaware River Waterfront at Penn’s Landing. And it’s got a glass-enclosed indoor pool with water views, plus a great outdoor deck looking right over the waterfront.

The Inn at Bowmanshill

Bucks County, Pennsylvania

Linger over breakfast and warm your body and soul by the open hearth log fire. Or, order breakfast in bed by your own gas fireplace. Experience perpetual summer in the orchid conservatory, or relax together in the two-person heated tub at this romantic Bucks County Inn…

For more information visit www.theinnatbowmanshill.com or call for reservations (215) 862-8090.

Douse the Fire, Lace Up the Boots

If you just enjoyed yourself daydreaming at the hearth, or not, keep reading for adrenaline boosts and intellectual warm ups.

ART

Philadelphia Museum of Art

2600 Benjamin Franklin Parkway
Philadelphia, PA 19130
(215) 763-8100

Like Philadelphia’s own Parthenon, the Philadelphia Museum of Art sits majestically on a rise at the end of the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. The vast collections of this temple of art make it the third-largest art museum in the country, and an absolute must-see on the city’s cultural circuit.

ICE ACTION

Blue Cross River Rink

Market Street and Columbus Boulevard — Philadelphia, PA 19106
(215) 925-RINK.

Enjoy a rejuvenating outdoor adventure at the Blue Cross RiverRink, an Olympic-sized ice rink at Penn’s Landing. Take in the breathtaking wintertime view overlooking the Delaware River and Benjamin Franklin Bridge.

Skytop Lodge
Route 390 Skytop — PA 18357
Phone: (570) 595-7401/Toll free: (800) 345-7759Strap on a pair of blades and polish your ice skating skills at this outdoor, weather-protected rink. Fun for the entire family!  All winter sports are conditions permitting.

Center Ice Oaks
87 Brower Ave
Oaks, PA 19456
Center Ice is a modern twin surface ice arena. Both of their ice surfaces are NHL dimensions. They offer instructional level lessons in skating and in hockey, and instructors are available for private lessons. The facility has a Pro Shop, Fitness Center and a restaurant within the building. Center Ice Oaks offer youth and adult hockey teams for all ages and levels of ability.

Ringing Rocks Roller Rink
1500 Ringing Rocks Park
Pottstown, PA 19464

Jamz Roller Skating Center
7017 Roosevelt Blvd
Philadelphia, PA 19149

VENTURE OUT

Great Wolf Lodge

1 Great Wolf Drive — Scotrun, PA 18355
Phone: (570) 688-9899/Toll free: (800) 768-9653
Opened in October 2005, this is the Pocono’s newest family resort. Featuring the Northeast’s largest, year-round indoor water park in a casual Northwood themed setting offers 401 spacious family suites, casual restaurants, a shopping emporium, arcade and MagiQuest – an interactive scavenger hunt type game. Many rate packages include tickets or admission to Pocono area attractions.

Woodloch Resort
731 Welcome Lake Road — Hawley, PA 18428
Phone: (570) 685-8000/Toll free: (800) 966-3562Enjoy the peaceful solitude of Woodloch Resort nestled in the northeast Pocono Mountains Lake Region. Nature trails that connect to an open field are ideal for family cross-country skiing or snowshoeing. State game lands located nearby offer a greater challenging terrain.

Split Rock Resort & Golf Club
1 Lake Drive Lake Harmony — PA 18624
Phone: (570) 722-9111/Toll free: (800) 255-7625
A full service, four season resort featuring a variety of accommodations, three restaurants, a 27-hole PGA golf course, first run movie theater, bowling alley, miniature golf course, indoor and outdoor pools, indoor water park as well as numerous other indoor/outdoor amenities. 

Camelback Mountain Resort
1 Camelback Road — Tannersville, PA 18372
Phone: (570) 629-1661/Toll free: (800) 233-8100
Camelback Mountain Resort has 18 chutes and two magic carpet lifts at CBK Snow tubing!  This is a great way to do some family bonding or a fun night out with friends. So, come for a fun night of laughs and don’t forget to stop by the fire pit and relax! Flexible three-hour weekend/holiday sessions begin every hour! 

ONE –STOP HEAD RUSH

Arnold’s Go Karts
2200 West Drive, 422 Business Center — Oaks, PA 19456
Arnold’s has over 144,000 square feet of action-packed indoor activities and adventure for kids of all ages! Go-karts, rides, arcade games, laser tag, bounce, bowling, mini golf, delicious food, and great prizes… you name it, they’ve got it!

Ultrazone
4201 Neshaminy Blvd, #130 — Bensalem, PA 19020
Ultrazone is a family entertainment center. In addition to offering an extensive video game arcade, Ultrazone houses a world renowned laser tag facility. The Ultrazone Laser Tag Arena, one of the largest on the East Coast, is a multi-level complex filled with numerous, strategically placed obstacles to provide a unique entertainment experience. Players may participate in a number of exciting game formats.

Grand Slam
11 E. Lancaster Avenue
Malvern, PA 19355
Grand Slam U.S.A. is over 30,000 square feet of sports activities, rides, games, and attractions providing excitement for the entire family.

“X” MARKS THE SPOT

Fletcher’s Corner

212 Route 47 South — Cape May Court House, NJ 08210

(609) 465-4949

The premiere archery pro shop in South Jersey. They’ve been serving archers and hunters for over 15 years. Customers are outfitted with hunting and archery gear as well as having a place to shoot with a 14 lane, well lit, indoor archery range. Fletcher’s Corner also hosts birthday parties, Boy Scout & Girl Scout groups and other organizations. Archery instruction is also available.

Laser Quest
1035 Bern Rd
Building 25
Wyomissing, PA 19610

BOWL OR RIDE

North Bowl

909 N. 2nd Street — Philadelphia, PA 19123
(215) 238-BOWL

With more than 21,000 square feet, 17 bowling lanes, two full bars, an upstairs lounge complete with Italian sofas, pool tables and an arcade, North Bowl is really much more than just a place to bowl.

Fernwood Winter Fun Center – Horseback Riding
Route 209 & River Road Bushkill — PA 18324
Phone: (570) 588-9500/Toll free: (888) 337-6966
Take a horseback ride, go snow tubing, swim indoors, or simply take a hike around the resort and the Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area, all against the backdrop of a winter wonderland in the Pocono Mountains.

VERTICAL ACTION

Doylestown Rock Gym
3853 Old Easton Rd — Doylestown, PA 18901
The Doylestown Rock Gym is the premiere indoor rock climbing gym and adventure facility in the north Philadelphia area. Offering over 12,000 square feet of indoor rock climbing surface, including overhangs, boulders, arêtes, chimneys, caves, and lead walls, the facility is suitable for rocks climbers of all ages and abilities.

Vertical Extreme
462 Acorn Lane — Downingtown, PA 19335
Vertical Extreme offers local indoor rock climbing for all ages and abilities – from beginner to professional, ages 3-100!!!

New Jersey Hot Air Ballooning  

Clinton NJ 908-208-1869
One-hour balloon flights start at $225 per passenger. Flight fare includes elegant champagne and Hors D’oeuvres toast after landing. Conveniently located off RT 78 in Clinton NJ, just 60 minutes west of NYC. They fly year round, 7 days a week. 100% safety record.

AERIAL ACTION

Key Air Helicopters
48 Sky Manor Road – Hanger B1, B2 and B3 — Pittstown NJ 08867
(908) 996-7007.

Enjoy a Scenic Helicopter Flight “Over the Garden State For Two” with this New Jersey Helicopter Tour. You and your guest, along with your pilot, will hop in a Robinson R44 helicopter and take off from Pittstown, NJ. The choice is yours whether you would like to go on a wonderful 30 minute tour or extend your flight and enjoy an hour long scenic tour of Northern New Jersey. No matter which tour you choose, memories of this adventure are sure to last a lifetime.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Why not stroll for treasures at this delightful trove?

Phila Flea Market
The Former Fed-Ex Service Center
820 Spring Garden Street (9th & Spring Garden)

“The Spring Garden Indoor Flea Market” is every Saturday now thru March. There are more than 60 vendors featuring antiques, collectibles, vintage furniture, jewelry, glassware, pottery, one-of-a-kind items and just plain fun Junque! Vendors accept all major credit cards! (215) 625-FLEA (3532). Visit www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org for more information. Free Parking / Free Admission / ATM / Food Court / Handicap Accessible / Heated Facility.

Vessels come in every shape and size.  There’s virtually no limit to the kinds of things a vessel can hold. Now apply these same conditions to human beings. Replace the grain or wine or sailors with thoughts and feelings, then apply the spark of animation and voila! Set sail for a lifetime.

During that lifetime, each of us must tend to the three basic pillars of our sentient existence: our bodies, our minds, and our souls. (For the last of these, even if you fear that yours may be lost, stolen, or sold, please play along.)

There’s plenty of professional advice throughout this issue that speak to the health of muscles and sinew, but the energy and creativity our bodies produce  is just as important. Remember The Matrix? We’re a bunch of walking batteries. And the effects of this voltage manifest themselves in many ways.

BODY
The Laying on of Hands
By Carol Graham

                Growing up in Ireland in a culture steeped in Celtic tradition influenced the path I have chosen to follow.  When I was injured in a car accident as a child, my mother took me to see her Aunt Lizzie. My great aunt was known to lay her hands on the body to heal pain.  No one ever spoke of this and I remember the feeling of warmth on my back when my aunt laid her hands on me.  It was comforting and it helped to alleviate my pain.

Today I am a certified massage therapist, Reiki master practitioner and integrated energy therapist.  Massage promotes relaxation and provides positive changes to our physical and energetic state.  Reiki is an ancient hands-on energy technique that heals physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Tanmaya Honervogt introduces Reiki as “the transfer of universal life energy for healing” (The Reiki Tutor). The practitioner is the channel for the energy and receives the benefits of this healing force as the client is worked on.  Hospice and cancer centers offer Reiki as a part of their treatment plan.  When I first received a Reiki treatment, I was aware of the familiar feeling of warmth emanating from the Reiki master’s hands and this confirmed my belief; this was the right path for me.

Integrated energy therapy seeks to promote balance in the body’s energy field by energizing and integrating healing energy.  Stevan J. Thayer states,   “As practitioners we work to support the body’s natural ability to establish and maintain proper balance” (The IET Training Guide). Clients are the healers; we are the facilitators.

Pain, fear, or loss wake us, bringing things into focus, and by then, harmony is harder to see.  Joni Mitchell sings, “You don’t always know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone…” each moment is a gift we are permitted to see and share.  It is important to invite mindfulness and healing into our lives.  My journey through the loss of two of my sons has been an awakening to the true richness of the spiritual realm. 

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”
A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway

                You were born with a healing system.  Your body can heal itself. Search for ways to create space within to allow healing and wholeness to manifest.  Be open to the experience: receive energy therapy and feel the results. 

Carol Graham can be reached at scarolgraham@yahoo.com.

MIND
An Oasis from Just-in-Time Living
By Drew Giorgi

My grandfather envisioned a future for me of four-day workweeks, lots of leisure time, and possibly the ownership of a family helicopter replacing one of several family cars. How disappointed he would be to see that the leaps in technology made by his generation have led to a world where everyone is on call 24/7/365.

The idea of the “just-in-time” business model reached critical success and global recognition when Dell’s innovative supply chain—adapted from the Toyota model—allowed it to soar past Compaq to become the number one computer maker in the world. At its apogee, Dell offered 500,000 different combinations of computer equipment and could land products cheaper than any competitor anywhere on the globe. This added an incredible level of complexity and stress on the organization; a lot of work was done to make it possible to deliver products consumers never requested.

We have done this with our families. While the argument over whether or not children have enough unstructured time in which to grow and learn on their own and at their own pace, the drive in organized activities seems to be based on values derived from what corporations and markets hold dear: efficiency and maximizing value. This is productivity: the product is the child, the parents are the managers, and the consumers are colleges and employers.

Many people live a “just-in-time” lifestyle. Plenty of us probably find there are times of the day, despite our best intentions, that work or school or that special project requires us to be operating in such a manner. Children feel this acutely. Dashing from class to class and to various other activities, they find themselves trying to fit into a completely different situation and set of demands every hour or so. Add the modern cell phone and the social network into the mix and they are also trying to balance all of their personal matters at a moment’s notice while meeting the expectations of coaches, teachers, classroom peers and co-workers.

            For many living this kind of “just-in-time” lifestyle there may be a desire to find a “just-in-time” solution as we begin the year. Family members and friends from older generations have much to offer in the way of an antidote, especially to our children.

            Grandparents, for example, provide an oasis that is free of the usual distractions. They may even have to craft other distractions for their grandchildren. But grandparents are the people in the lives of children who see things the most contrary to everyone else in their world. They also have the longest memory and are usually implicitly trusted. At my own school we have history projects arranged so that students can benefit from an elder viewpoint.

            Grandparents are usually the keepers of the family history and tradition. Diane Burns wrote about a great example of this in the November/December issue of this publication. It was about her cream cheese spritz pressed cookies with grape jelly in the centers, which her granddaughter now makes. Grandparents need not limit their relationships to old tales that humanize parents and pass on tradition and recipes. With a little planning, a grandparent can offer a valuable balance of activities and wisdom that can help center a child, especially a teenager navigating the challenges of high school, work and college applications. For the sake of mental health, teens need to block out time to power down from all of the external pressures, both perceived and unperceived, in order to rebalance themselves. Guidance from an experienced hand can be vital.

            The key is in the planning, the kind only grandparents and grandchildren know best. Whenever I visited my grandfather he always had a project ready, whether it was a game we were to play, a fishing trip we were to go on, or birdhouse we were to build. Something of a natural-born teacher, he consistently created scenarios filled with discovery and teachable moments. He sometimes spread big projects out over multiple visits, teaching me that some jobs required you to take your time, especially when working with power tools or electronics. A key lesson I learned is that taking a break is sometimes essential to doing a good job. But he always had a plan. Without a plan expect to find the child—especially the teenager—lost in the nearest electronic device at hand.

            Of course, not even Dell follows its “just-in-time” model any longer; however, Apple, the company that surpassed the entire tech industry, never practiced a “just-in-time” approach to anything. Rather, their leader opted to offer just four computers when they resurrected themselves in the 1990’s, and they overtook Dell less than a decade later in terms of market capitalization, and went on to surpass even Exxon all in good time. The kids may think of their grandparents and other elders as the crazy ones, the ones who, although they may own a cell phone, are truly wireless. Even though they use a computer and might even keep up with their children and grandchildren on Facebook, they grew up in an analog world that required real face time. Their long-term relationships most likely started before Silicon Valley learned how to make gold out of silicon. Offering an oasis of quality time, they might just cause our kids and us to think different.

Drew Giorgi is a teacher of English at New Hope-Solebury High School. He is a graduate of LaSalle University and holds master’s degrees from The College of New Jersey and St. Joseph’s University in English and Educational Technology.

SOUL 
Forgiving Faust

As the story goes, when you’re standing
at the crossroads, time won’t wait I know,
Don’t you go and sell your soul,
No, no, no, don’t you sell your soul.

These are original lyrics by Bethanne Reid, the dynamite lead of RGM. RGM stands for Really Great Music, and the simplicity of the name speaks volumes for the talent. I saw RGM perform recently at the Zen Den in Doylestown and it brought everything together from the previous interview I’d had with Bethanne. No, she didn’t sell her soul in exchange for musical endowment, but that is a legend we all know. Would you trade your soul to gain inspiring talent, to know love, or to gain wisdom?

Fortunately, making a pact with the Devil is not the only way to nourish our spirits and nurture our creative selves.  Taking care of the soul on the path to awareness can be hard work, and sometimes the only thing in one’s way is oneself. This is a quote from Bethanne, in fact. A New Jersey native, she spent many years in New York City as a performer, looking for her big break. She was in plenty of the right places, and had the talent to boot, but the timing was something that she’d have to wait through. Living now in Bucks County with her son, it was through a series of uncanny events that led to her meeting the other 18 accomplished members of her band.  One by one, each person crossed her path and she was transported to center stage. Now she’s got the fullness of her art and the limelight she always wanted, but none of that was hers until she’d been through a living Hell of heartache, setbacks and loss.

You can see RGM perform, and introduce yourself to Bethanne after the show. Visit their website to see their next event and read more about their story. It’s sure to inspire you to pursue your own path of creative satisfaction, no matter the obstacles: http://rgmproject.com.

In the meantime, consider these tips on nourishing your soul train the next time you are standing at your crossroads.

Ten Ways to Grow Your Spirit

1. Embrace Your Talents

2. Tie Up Loose Ends

3. Be Responsible in Your Relationships; Don’t Turn to the “Blame-Game”.

4. Love Sometimes Means Saying Goodbye

5. Let Go of Useless Attachments

6. Confront Your Inner Demons

7. Accept Change – Go with the Flow

8. Accept Delays

9. Love and Honor Yourself

10. Deal with Death and Illness in Positive Ways

Sharyl Volpe is the Editor-in-Chief of Local Living Magazine. “Ten Ways to Grow Your Spirit” were provided by Phylameana lila Desy, certified in Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki and the Science of Intuition from the Holos Institutes of Health. For more detail, visit http://spiralvisions.com/index2.html.

Anyone who has ever known Tug McGraw knows he lived his life with passion, humor and vitality. The former Philadelphia Phillies relief pitcher, and father of country singer, Tim McGraw, had a puckish, Irish zest for life, even when faced with a malignant brain tumor, which, tragically, took his life seven years ago this month.

Not one to retreat from a challenge, he used what he knew was an eventual death sentence to create a mechanism to help others battling brain tumors, helping to improve their quality of life—a major challenge for people suffering from brain-related diseases and injuries. There in his living room, along with his caregiver and long-time friend, Jennifer Brusstar, the Tug McGraw Foundation was born.

A Home Run for the “Tugger”

Frank Edwin “Tug” McGraw, Jr. is best known as the effervescent, Philadelphia Phillies relief pitcher who struck out Kansas City Royals’ Willie Wilson in the 1980 World Series, earning the Phillies their first World Series. His legendary rallying cry, “Ya Gotta Believe,” which he used as a motivational tool to keep the New York Mets’ spirits high when he played for them from 1965 to 1974, became synonymous with his “can-do” attitude. For those of us lucky enough to know him off-the-field, he had an uncanny ability to relate to people from all walks of life. His unwavering generosity of spirit served him well as he transitioned from Major League Baseball to a second career as a broadcaster, author, motivational speaker, and philanthropist. While he was not a perfect man, he was “real,” and those who knew him well could count on him for his friendship, candor and loyalty.

Born in Martinez, California on August 30, 1944, McGraw began his Major League Baseball career with the New York Mets in 1965, and after only one season, reported to the Marine Corps Recruit Depot on Parris Island where he was trained as a rifleman. After a stint in the Minor Leagues, he came back to the Mets in 1969, and in 1975, began his career with the Philadelphia Phillies.

You could say Tug lived the life of Riley! Wherever he went, people would rally around him, reminiscing about his legendary World Series pitch, his inspirational “Ya Gotta Believe” profiles that aired on 6ABC, his relationship with Tim, or praising him for his philanthropic work—in particular—his charity golf events. Not one to be afraid of taking fashion risks, Tug could be too often seen wearing his bright red and green plaid golf pants, sadly, too many times off of the green!

But, for Tug, happiness quickly turned into fear when he began to act in a disoriented fashion during the Phillies Spring Training in Florida in March, 2003. Knowing something was seriously wrong, he called 911 and was immediately taken to Moffett Cancer Center, and eventually to Duke Medical Center, where the tumor was surgically removed. While he was undergoing treatment at Duke—which extended his life span from three weeks to a remarkable ten months—his quality of life was clearly an issue. The experimental medication caused severe side effects, often leaving him tired and dehydrated. It was then that he and Jennifer Brusstar, who is now president and CEO of the Tug McGraw Foundation, along with his son, Tim, decided to put Tug’s wishes of helping others suffering from the disease into action.

Tug’s Legacy

As the driving force behind the creation of the Tug McGraw Foundation, Jennifer, whose husband, Warren, was Tug’s teammate when they both played for the Phillies, structured the non-profit organization to focus on the quality of life of children and adults with brain tumors. Recently, Jennifer has expanded their programs to include Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and Traumatic Brain Injury. By partnering with other organizations, the Foundation hopes to accelerate new treatments and cures in the physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual lives of patients suffering from brain-related diseases. Additionally, they have created a program to help combat veterans, a “brain food” garden, a national endurance sports training program, and a collegiate athlete pre-medical program at Duke University. The organization also provides grants to other medical research institutions both here in the U.S. and abroad.

Thanks to Tim’s outreach efforts, especially his performances and participation in many of the Foundation’s fundraising activities, they have been able to raise much needed dollars to continue Tug’s mission, as well as generate on-going public and media interest.

At Tug’s private “celebration of life” funeral service, Tim decided his physical presence would be a distraction, but wanted to make sure his feelings about his late father were expressed. Jennifer was given the heart-wrenching task of reading a eulogy written by Tim, whom she has known since Tug reunited with him when he was 17-years-old.

As she tearfully read Tim’s tribute to his father, we all cried along with her. His words, like the lyrics of many of his country songs, expressed life’s joy and sadness.

Tug would have been embarrassed by all of the attention. But he died knowing that his life was not in vain. It was not his “screwball” or World Series win that will be remembered. His energy and passion lives on through his fellow brain tumor warriors. He believed!

Dava Guerin is the People Editor for Local Living Magazine and CEO of Guerin Public Relations, Inc.

Escaping to the beach is the perfect antidote to an overdose of civilization. As water babies ourselves – our bodies are about 60% H2O – a vacation by the sea somehow sets the world right. Whether admiring the surf from a comfy chaise to chasing your own waves or sailing along the surface, these seaside retreats deliver the goods.

Hawaii

The mountains meet the sea at Maui’s Kaanapali Beach, a stunning stretch of sand framed by the lush West Maui Mountains.  Fortunately, this million-dollar view isn’t just for the rich and famous. Find great value at the Kaanapali Ocean Inn, a property that shares a prime oceanfront location and all the amenities of its neighboring full service Royal Lahaina Resort.  Expect rustic charm and the Ocean Inn exceeds expectations with a prime location steps from the beach and a short walk to Whaler’s Village for shopping and dining..

Situated in the heart of Waikiki Beach, the Royal Hawaiian is the epitome of beachfront romance.  Built in 1927 as the “Pink Palace of the Pacific,” this Art Deco beauty led the way to a new era of luxurious resort travel to Hawaii. After its splashy redo in 2008, the RH is better than ever, tempting guests with niceties like oversized fresh water pools, private cabanas and massage by the beach.  Or amp things up a notch with adrenalin pumping water sports, from outrigger canoeing and surf lessons to swimming with dolphins.

Mexico, West and East

Adrift on two seas of blue, the Pacific Ocean to the west, and the sea of Cortez to the east, Los Cabos is as close as you can get to the surf without getting wet.  Located on the tip of Mexico’s Baja peninsula, Los Cabos is a 20 mile long swath of beach front real estate that includes the Old Mexican charm of San Jose del Cabo at one end, and the party town Cabo San Lucas, on the other. Reserve a view at Marquis Los Cabos,  where all 237 suites offer water views and beachfront casitas steal the show. Each with its own plunge pool, the casitas offer a level of spacious luxury that has attracted celebs like Bruce Willis, Bono and Pink.  For excitement, take an ATV adventure trek or hike in the nearby Sierra La Laguna canyons.  Or bliss out at the resort’s 15,000 sq. ft. spa, where elements like cactus oil and agave bring natural beauty into focus.

Ideal for an adult all-inclusive getaway, the five-star Royal Playa del Carmen on the Riviera Maya is more than ready for its close up.  Newly renovated, the Royal boasts extras like Mexico’s first advance online check-in and a new Royal Service option for suite guests hankering for VIP treatment.  Free wifi, 24 hour room service, in-room double jacuzzis and an Olympic-sized lap pool ups the ante at this cushy all inclusive where the emphasis is on pampering, romance and seaside graces along a spacious sandy beach.  

Caribbean

Columbus was the first world traveler to fall in love with Jamaica, calling it the

“. . . fairest land ever eyes beheld . . .  the mountains touch the sky.”   Blessed with a diverse topography, including the lush Blue Mountains studded with coffee plantains, Jamaica’s beach resorts are second to none.  Families can relax at Beaches Sandy Bay, situated on a quiet stretch of famous Seven Mile Beach in Negril, with tons of planned activities for the kids and plenty of down time for mom and dad. Best of all, each of the 128 guestrooms is just steps from the crystalline Caribbean Sea, a view pretty enough to give even a famous explorer pause.

St. Lucia…aaaahhh

Celebrities like Mick Jagger and Natalie Portman hide away on the more remote southern side of St. Lucia, with its plethora of intimate, upscale resorts and cottages. One of the best is Jalousie Plantation, a repurposed sugar plantation built seamlessly into a hillside rainforest overlooking St. Lucia’s trademark peaks- the Gros and Petit Pitons. Luxury villas and suites deliver every amenity, including personal plunge pools, along with views of either Sugar Beach or the emerald green pitons. A new $2 million Rainforest Spa is one of the best on the island, a heavenly retreat incorporating organic products, locally sourced essential oils and soothing waters from the nearby sulfur springs.

Better in Belize

Belize is wild and rugged, a wedge of subtropical paradise against the backdrop of the Caribbean Sea spread. You can have two unique experiences here, a rainforest jungle jaunt as well as a first class beach stay at one of the offshore islands or along the mainland coast.  One top spot is Almond Beach Resort & Spa, south of Belize City.  Located near national parks, Mayan ruins, and world famous diving and fishing, the resort delivers luxurious beachfront casitas along with access to the natural beauty for which Belize is famous.

Travel Editor Beth D’Addono celebrates local living wherever she goes on her blog, unchainedtravel.com.

Vince Papale’s invincible moment didn’t come when he put on the kelly green uniform of the Philadelphia Eagles. His moment came much earlier, when he told his father he had received a track scholarship to St. Joe’s University.

Times were tough in the Papale household. His mother was sick. His father’s job wasn’t stable. But at school, the young Papale excelled in track under coach George Corner. Colleges began clamoring for his attention.

“I said ‘Dad, we’re going to college. It’s all paid for.’ He started crying and hugged me,” Papale said. “It was at that moment that I realized, he was always there for me. And I understood it. My light went off.”

Papale, who beat all odds to win a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles, tells his story in his new book, “Be Invincible!” He co-wrote the book with his wife of 18 years, Janet Cantwell-Papale, a former U.S. World Team gymnast who had her own invincible moment when she was injured at the height of her career. She went on to become a top gymnastics coach.

The book, written with author Tim Vandehey, urges readers to reach their full potential and gives them steps to do so. It also highlights “Invincible Moments” from dozens of people, from Marine Corps veteran Capt. Bryce McDonald to athletes like Mike Eruzione, captain of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team.

“Right now people are in great need of hope and inspiration, and in need perhaps of a formula to refresh themselves,” said Papale, who lives in Cherry Hill, N.J., with Janet and their children, Gabriella and Vincent Jr. “There’s so much frustration out there, and despair. This was the perfect time for us to come up with this book.”

Papale knows quite a bit about reaching his full potential. He was a 30-year-old school teacher when he landed a spot on the Eagles roster in 1976. The team was struggling, and new coach Dick Vermeil held open tryouts to anyone with experience handling a football. Papale played for three seasons and even served as special teams captain.

The 2006 movie “Invincible,” starring Mark Wahlberg in the title role, revived Papale’s name and gave him an international platform for his message of pursuing your dream. Papale, a colon cancer survivor, also advocates for routine health screenings.

Papale is using his success to help others. A portion of proceeds from “Be Invincible!” will be donated to the Wounded Warrior Project, which helps wounded veterans. He’s also lending his name to the Philadelphia Soul’s Philly Football Rocks “Fun-Raising” Initiative, which benefits youth football and other nonprofit organizations.

“Be Invincible!” has spurred Papale and his wife to launch Invincible Kids, a program to give positive role models to children.

“Some pros don’t mind being a role model,” he said. “I relish it. I’ll take it on and do whatever I can to serve that role.”

Crissa DeBree is a writer based in Quakertown, Pa.

Lambertville Station: Dining on the Delaware
Experience a serene riverside setting as the Delaware flows by and your table is set at the lavishly restored 1867 historic train station.

In a traditional setting from the etched glass and polished brass era in our nation’s history, The Lambertville Station adds a modern spark to its menu. Arrive for lunch, brunch or dinner, or try the specially-priced All Together Menu, and you will be treated to an exceptional dining experience. The New American Cuisine features signature dishes such as Dijon-Rosemary Encrusted Rack of Lamb, rare Ahi-Tuna with Wasabi puree, and wild game with seasonal offerings prepared by world class professionals. All dishes are prepared using herbs fresh from the Stations’ own herb garden. Also served are classics such as Chesapeake Jumbo Lump Crab Cakes.

Relax this winter in the new Wine Bar, or visit here on Tuesdays after 6 pm and enjoy sushi prepared by Chef Ike (Kunihiko Aikasa). He’s the owner and chef of Shumi, central New Jersey’s choice for “Best Japanese Restaurant”.   Come and enjoy all that is offered at Lambertville’s landmark restaurant!  

 For more information on Lambertville Station, please visit http://www.lambertvillestation.com or phone (609) 397-8300. Reservations are suggested.

Descriptions of the dishes pictured.

Wild Game

Roasted red elk chops with rabbit fennel sausage links, wild mushroom risotto and curled beets

Citrus Scallops

Pan seared diver scallops with candied citrus, locally farmed micro greens, sweet balsamic reduction and chives from our garden

Photo:

Chris Beall is the chef on the left
Dan Whitaker is the owner on the right

This recipe will be done on its own page full picture and full recipe tight crop of image. Big Stock image (jpg with Big Stock number is also uploaded).

This dish offers sophisticated taste with simple preparation. Serve it with oven roasted vegetables and sweet potato puree to round out your plate.

Roasted Halibut with Cranberry Chutney

Cranberry Chutney

• 2 cups dried sweetened cranberries 
• 1 medium onion, chopped (about 1 1/4 cups) 
• 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 
• 2 tablespoons grated fresh ginger
• 1 tablespoon grated orange peel
• 1/2 cup fresh orange juice 
• 1/4 cup cider vinegar

Roasted Halibut

• 4 (6-ounce) Alaskan halibut fillets (about 1 inch thick)
• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 teaspoons olive oil 

Preparation 

1. Combine all of the chutney ingredients in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, 30 minutes or until mixture thickens. Cool slightly.
2. Sprinkle fillets with salt and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil. Place fish on a foil lined baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Bake at 425° for 10 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Top with chutney.

DESSERTS: These recipes will both be on one page, with one big photo each, and only descriptions. The website will be referenced for the full recipes (jpgs with Big Stock numbers also uploaded). SHERILYN, PLEASE DO NOT USE RECIPES. I LEFT THEM IN HERE FOR THE WEB VERSION FOR MELINDA.

Looking for a decadent but healthy dessert alternative to the Valentine’s Day chocolate overdose? Whip these up for a refreshing change.

Description: The graceful arcs of meringue are laced beautifully with the rich colors and sweetness of the berries.

Berry Meringues

• 4 large egg whites (1/2 cup) or 1/2 cup refrigerated pasteurized egg whites
• 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 cup plus about 2 tablespoons sugar
• 4 cups blackberries, raspberries, or blueberries (or some of each)
• 1 cup whipping cream
• melting chocolate and waxed paper for the chocolate lace garnish
• melons and kiwi fruit optional for garnish

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 225°.
2. In a large bowl, with a mixer (preferably fitted with wire-whisk attachment) on high speed, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until foamy. Gradually add 1 cup sugar, about 1 tablespoon at a time, beating well after each addition and scraping sides of bowl occasionally, until stiff, shiny peaks form.
3. Line two 12- by 15-inch baking sheets with cooking parchment or coat sheets with cooking-oil spray or butter. Mound meringue in eight equal portions (a scant 1/2 cup for each) on sheets, spacing at least 3 inches apart. Shape each into a 4-inch round.
4. Bake in preheated oven until meringues sound hollow when tapped and feel firm to the touch, about 1 1/2 hours (1 1/4 hours in convection heat); switch sheet positions halfway through baking. Turn heat off and leave meringues in closed oven until completely cool, 2 to 2 1/2 hours longer. Remove from sheets.
5. Shortly before serving, rinse and drain berries; pat dry with a towel. In a bowl, with a mixer on high speed, beat whipping cream just until soft peaks form. Turn mixer to low and beat in sugar to taste (about 2 tablespoons).
6. Set meringues on dessert plates. Top with whipped cream and berries.
7. For lace chocolate garnish, drizzle melted chocolate in thins lines on waxed paper and put in freezer until hardened.
8.  

Source: myrecipes.com

Of course we had to include an equally decadent classic too… Who can resist Triple-Chocolate Mousse Cake?

Description: These impressive delights will have your guests wondering how you do all you do and still find time to bake like a pro.  Dark-chocolate cake at the base, with two layers of plush, pillowy mousse — bittersweet and milk chocolates – piled on top and capped with semisweet curls.

Triple-Chocolate Mousse Cake

Makes 8 cakes

**Special Equipment - 8 9-cm (3½-inch/6-ounce) ramekins

• Dark Chocolate Cake
• Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse
• Milk Chocolate Mousse
• Semisweet Chocolate Curls

Dark Chocolate Cake

• Unsalted butter, softened, to grease
• Unsweetened cocoa powder, for dusting
• 2/3 cup plain (all-purpose) flour
• 1/3 cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¾ teaspoon baking powder
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 2/3 cup caster (superfine granules) sugar
• 1 large egg, room temperature
• ¼ cup/4 tablespoons whole milk
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• ¼ cup/4 tablespoons water

1. Preheat oven to 350°.  Line a baking sheet with non-stick baking paper.  Place the ramekins on the lined baking sheet.  Using a small pastry brush, coat the bottom and sides of each ramekin with unsalted butter; dust liberally with unsweetened cocoa powder, set-aside.
2. Using a fine mesh sieve, sift the flour, Dutch-process cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt into the bowl of electric stand mixer. Add the sugar; using a whisk, whisk together to combine well.
3. Attach the bowl to the mixer fitted with the paddle attachment.  Add the egg, milk, oil, vanilla, and water; mix on medium-low speed until combined, about 3 minutes.
4. Divide batter evenly among prepared ramekins.  Return ramekins to lined baking sheet, spacing one-inch apart.
5. Bake until a cake tester inserted in the centre of the cakes comes out clean, about 20 minutes.
6. Transfer to a wire rack; let cool completely.  Unmold cakes.
7. Using a serrated knife, carefully trim each cake to 1-inch high. Transfer to paper lined baking sheet, cut side down.
8. Cut eight 10¾-inch-by-4-inch strips of non-stick baking paper.  Wrap a paper collar around the base of each cake, keeping the bottom flush with baking sheet. Secure each collar with tape, set-aside.

Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse and Milk Chocolate Mousse

• 3 1/3 cups heavy cream, 35%, divided
• 8 large egg yolks, room temperature, divided
• ½ cup caster (superfine granules) sugar, divided
• ¼ cup/4 tablespoons light corn syrup, divided
• ¼ cup/4 tablespoons water, divided
• 7 ounces good quality bittersweet chocolate, melted
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract, divided
• Pinch of salt
• 7 ounces milk chocolate, melted

1. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat 1 2/3 cups heavy cream on medium-high speed until soft peaks form, about 3½ minutes.  Transfer to an airtight container; refrigerate for 1 hour.
2. Place 4 egg yolks into the clean bowl of an electric stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment; beat on high speed until pale and frothy, about 5 minutes.
3. Meanwhile, in a small-sized, heavy-bottomed saucepan, over high heat, bring  ¼ cup sugar, 2 tablespoons corn syrup and 2 tablespoons water to a rolling boil.  Cook until clear, large bubbles form, about 1 minute.
4. Reduce mixer speed to medium-low.  Carefully and gradually pour hot syrup down side of bowl. Raise speed to medium-high; mix until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.
5. Remove bowl from mixer; add the melted bittersweet chocolate, 1-teaspoon vanilla, and a pinch of salt.  Using a large flexible rubber spatula, stir to well combine.
6. Remove the whipped cream from the refrigerator and place into a large-sized bowl.  Add one-third of the bittersweet-chocolate mixture to the whipped cream; whisk until well combined.  Add remaining bittersweet-chocolate mixture, whisking until well combined.  Press the mixture through a large fine mesh sieve into a large bowl; discard any solids.
7. Transfer bittersweet chocolate mousse to a large pastry bag fitted with a large, plain round tip.
8. Repeat entire recipe, substituting milk chocolate for the bittersweet.
9. Transfer milk chocolate mousse to a large pastry bag fitted with a large, plain round tip (If mousse is thin, do not transfer to pastry bag, use an ice cream scoop to spoon into paper collar – don’t worry it will set in the refrigerator.  You can also pop the cakes in the freezer to give them a good set then remove collars and place in the refrigerator).

Assembly

• Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse 
• Milk Chocolate Mousse
• 2 ounces semisweet chocolate, curls, to garnish

1. Pipe a 1-inch layer of bittersweet chocolate mousse into each paper collar.  Refrigerate until the mousse is set, about 20 minutes.
2. Pipe a 1-inch layer of milk chocolate mousse on top of the layer of bittersweet chocolate mousse (if mousse is thin, do not transfer to pastry bag, use an ice cream scoop to spoon into paper collar – don’t worry it will set in the refrigerator). Refrigerate at least 4 hours and up to overnight.
3. Microwave semisweet chocolate until slightly warm but not melted, about 30 seconds.  Using a vegetable peeler, scrape edge of chocolate at a 45-degree angle, forming curls.  Refrigerate the curls until ready to serve cakes.
4. To serve, remove paper collars.  Garnish with chocolate curls.

Source: gracessweetlife.com

For adults engaged in difficult divorce and custody battles, it can be all too easy to forget the significant, long-lasting impact that these types of proceedings can have on those most sensitive to the fallout, children. Unfortunately, the setup of the court system promotes a competitive approach to determining custody in that one party is the so-called winner (the “primary” custodian) and one party is the so-called loser (the “partial” custodian) in most cases. Children, however, do not see it this way. For children, their parents’ divorce and/or separation is a confusing and overwhelming event, and they look to their parents for guidance on how to handle what is occurring. Below are some things to consider for the well-being of the children.

1.            Children Do Not Care Who Is Primary. 

Children love both of their parents, regardless of where they spend most of their overnights. As long as both parents put forth the effort to be involved in their children’s lives on a consistent basis, the technicalities do not matter. Children will look forward to seeing the partial custodian during weekends and dinner visits and other periods of custody, just as much as they look forward to spending time with the primary custodian. Cherish whatever time you have with your children, because your children cherish it as well. 

2.            Think About What You Say Before You Say It.

You might dislike your former partner/spouse, but your children do not. If you fight with or insult each other in front of the children, you are doing your children a great disservice. Dealing with their parents no longer being together is traumatizing enough for children, and fighting in front of children is additional stress they do not need. They may start to associate their parents’ fighting with themselves and believe that their parents’ fighting is their fault, which it is not.

Children benefit from having a relationship with both parents, and turning your children against the other parent may make you feel better, but it will harm them in the short and long term. Furthermore, your children might resent you when they grow up and realize what you have done. Keep adult conflicts between adults where they belong.

3.              Children Are Not Your Messengers.

Communicating through your children may be easier than communicating with the other parent directly, but avoid taking this approach. Doing this places your children in the middle, especially if the messages are less than cordial. For instance, it is not your child’s place to tell father/mother that more clothes are needed for the weekend, or that child support is due on the first of the month, or that boyfriend/girlfriend is not an appropriate supervisor. If you cannot speak with the other parent directly, then try text messages, email or another form of communication. Regardless of the method you choose, children should not be involved. 

4.            Children Are Not Bargaining Chips.

Making the custody arrangement you would agree to contingent upon what you get in terms of child support, property settlement, etc. is not in your children’s best interests. If you truly believe that it would be in your children’s best interests to be in the custody of the other parent 50% of the time, then that is what needs to occur. There are numerous acceptable tactics available when negotiating a proper child support amount or equitable distribution settlement, but threatening to withhold the children or allow for minimal time with the children is not one of them. Your children are not commodities to be traded, and it is important to remember that in the heat of the moment. Additionally, remember that you must act as your child’s advocate, because they do not really have a voice in the custody proceeding until they are almost too old to be involved in a custody proceeding. Think about what they would say if they could, and voice that opinion for them.

5.            Do Not Let Children Take Advantage of the Divided Household.

When your children are complaining that the other parent disciplines too much or does not let them eat too much sugar or acts like a parent in some other fashion, do not offer them a way out when they are in your custody. Children of intact households get the benefits of their parents acting like a team – stability and consistency. As much as possible, try to reinforce the good habits the other parent is trying to instill in your children as opposed to trying to be the “fun” or “cool” parent.

A lot of the above may seem like common sense, but it can be easy to forget. Just remember that the way in which you handle custody matters impacts children forever, and then forgetting is no longer an option.

Katherine V. Coverdale Esq., of Kevin Zlock: A Professional Law Corporation, is a graduate of New York University Law School. She also holds a bachelor’s degree in English with distinction from Stanford University. Katherine also attended The Lawrenceville School in Lawrenceville, N.J. She can be reached at kcoverdale@zlocklegal.com or (215) 968-1800.